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Friday, January 21, 2011

37 Weird Jobs

1. Odor Tester

This one is pretty odd, but some chemist has to make sure that all of those deodorants and anti-perspirants are operating properly to keep their users free of funk

2. Hair Boiler

This lucky soul gets to boil various kinds of animal hair until it curls for later use. We know that burning hair smells terrible; try to imagine catching the aroma of hair boil soup all day, no thanks.

3. Waste Station/Water Treatment Worker

Maybe more dirty than weird, but anytime someone has to deal with other peoples crap (literally) I think you can classify it as a weird job. Let us just take a minute to think about the things that go down our toilets and have a moment of silence for these brave men and women.

4. Citrus Fruit Dyer

Have you ever passed by the lemons at the supermarket and though to yourself, damn that's some good looking citrus! Well it might be because there commercial farmers out there who dye the fruit a more vibrant color to hide the ripeness of the fruit.

5. Crocodile Wrangler

Many of us are privy to this unusual occupation due to the late, great Steve Irwin, but no matter how accustomed we become to handling animals it will always be a little out there. A nice mix of danger and excitement for what many would consider low pay.

6. Fortune Cookie Writer

Yes, we've all wondered who the heck writes those fortunes in English! Finishing a take-out Chinese meal isn't only full of MSG, but those delightfully witty pieces of advice that people are so quick to heed.

7. Pet Detective

Another one we might have missed if it weren't for a film or television show. Ace Ventura, pet detective, displayed just how important this job is, especially when Dan Marino is in trouble! Personally I would've gone with a missing ad in the paper, but these folks are sure to find that furry member of the family.

8. Cheese Sprayer

Don't worry; I am not talking about someone spraying chemicals on your cheese. This person is actually in charge of spraying either cheese or butter on popcorn. Yet another job that most people might have guessed was done by a machine, but how else would you engineer that perfect, hand crafted cheese coating on every kernel?

9. IMAX Screen Cleaner

If you've ever seen an IMAX screen, these things are huge! But someone has to make sure that bad boy is crystal clear so we can travel through the Grand Canyon or explore the human body via a gigantic screen in a circular room.

10. Chimney Sweeper

Here is another job which could be more on the dirty side. The unfortunate person partaking in this age old profession is sure to be covered in soot and ash by the end of the day. It a fact that around the turn of the twentieth century people use to use young children to chimney sweep because they were small enough to fit inside the tiny chimneys some structures used. Even poets like Blake and Kingsley have written about this one. I'm pretty sure (I hope) technology has brought this one up to date.

11. Light Bender

Making neon lights seems like it would be a relatively easy job, but it requires a lot of precision and electrical work. Apparently if the lights don't have the proper thickness and shaping, they will amount to nothing more than broken glass. This job has to be quite lucrative in a town like Las Vegas.

12. Odd Job Journalist

This writer gets actually paid money to write articles about other weird and odd jobs that exist. Maybe someday he'll find a real job of his own. Hey, wait a minute...

13. Professional Whistler

Believe it or not this man whistles tunes and does it for a living. Allegedly this gentleman is well versed in several different genres of music.

14. Fountain Pen Repairer

Honestly, I think most of us would have to be fairly wealthy and care a hell of a lot about our fountain pens to have them repaired rather than go buy another pen.

15. Snake Milker

If you ever get bitten by a poisonous snake you'll be grateful these people know how to work with animals. They are responsible for getting the venom out of snakes to make the anti-venom. Be honest, which one of you thought that snakes had actual milk glands?

16. Wrinkle Chasers

Nobody likes that crease that shoes get after about a month right below the toe line. Well wrinkle chasers make sure those leather crow's feet never appear on those shiny new shoes before they leave the factory. Now can we please find someone to invent something that keeps it that way?

17. Rodeo Clowns

I know that I've always been fascinated with those Spaniards in Pamplona who risk their lives in the running of the bulls, but rodeo clowns do it for a living. You have to give them some respect though. Their theatrics not only takes guts, but you have to be fairly secure in your masculinity to do this covered in makeup.

18. Cow Hoof Trimmer

Just like horseshoes, cows need some hoof maintenance too. These fine animals can have poor milk production, lameness, and decreased fertility if not properly groomed. Try to imagine giving a cow a pedicure.

19. Chicken Sexer

Going through baby chicks and separating them according to sex. I hear this job is pretty easy, if you just play bad 80's music and set things up like a 5th grade dance, they separate themselves.

20. Ostrich Babysitter

Apparently this guy gets to sit in a field full of ostrich and make sure that they didn't peck each other to death or get stolen. Any job where you can sit down, read a book and do absolutely no work is always a plus, but I have heard that these birds' behavior can get a little aggressive.

21. Furniture Tester

Ever been sitting in your favorite chair or sofa and say to yourself, man I wish I could do this for a living. Well some really lucky human being actually tests out furniture for companies like La-Z-Boy. A new definition of the phrase "couch potato."

22. Cartoon People/Mascots

Remember when you went to Disneyworld for the first time when you were eight? You got to meet Mickey Mouse and Goofey! Well we all now know that those are real people in there and are aware of it, this is still a pretty weird job.

23. Oyster Floater

They float oysters on a barge in running water until they are completely free of impurities, also a short term storage method. Sounds like a cranberry field full of oysters and I can imagine this isn't the cleanest job in the world. But if you enjoy the taste of these slimy shellfish, I'm sure you can sneak a lot in during your shift.

24. Neck Skewer

Basically this job involves skewing the neck of beef halves with a steel rod after the head of the cow has been removed. 500 pound raw beef shish kabob anyone?

25. Adult Store Attendant

One of the more harder-to-stomach professions, unless you're a pervert. Sooner or later we have to get into some nasty jobs. In this case the adult store worker not only takes care of the store, but has to clean up the booths where clientele "test" the pornographic merchandise. Probably a good candidate for The Discovery Channel's popular program, and one heck of a way to apply that human services degree.

26. Braille Translator

Someone has to modify all sorts of texts and convert them to Braille for the blind. This can include novels, music, textbooks, and brochures. There is nothing wrong with making things more accessible for the blind and this one sounds like it's a quite useful job, but it does sound tedious.

27. Ski Slope Illustrator

Fortune Magazine has also done some investigating and sure enough there is someone out there who has to draw those trail maps on the ski slopes around the world. Fortune has also mentioned our next weird job...

28. Dog Food Tester

Watch out guys, this gal is going to have some great breath in store for you. Just like any other meals, dog food needs to be inspected too. I suppose they can't use dogs to test the food so this profession requires a taste testing of such a delicious cuisine.

29. Gum Buster

Have you ever sat in a park bench and had the misfortune of placing your hand in old gum? Well that's where these guys come in, removing gum that resides all over the place.

30. Fantasy Broker

If you want your dreams to come true then talk to these folks. Their job is to make sure that if you want something, you get it. Kind of like a concierge of life. If I were in the business of making fantasies come to life, I think I'd charge quite a large amount.

31. Golf Ball Diver

I know every time I hit the range, about three balls head into the water and I suspect it's the same way for most. These quasi-scubas get in there and find all those balls and probably clean them up for resale. If you want to scuba dive in the Mediterranean for living, this might be as close as you get.

32. Whiskey Ambassador

Let's face it, this is every over 21 year old's dream job. You would be responsible for choosing only the finest whiskeys and teaching your clients the proper way to taste and admire the different attributes which this delicious liquor can possess. Sign me up!

33. Nasty Stunt Producer

Perhaps you've tuned in to shows like Fear Factor which use insane stunts involving all sorts of insect and animal parts intended on grossing the contestants out. Well this profession's job is to research these insects and animals and make sure the stunts are safe and appropriate for the shows. Huge cockroach, bon appetit.

34. Forest Fire Lookout

If you happen to be an extreme hermit who has very little time to do important things, there might be a national park out there that will pay you (a very low wage) to sit in a tower and make sure none of those pesky landscape altering fires occur.

35. Weed Farmer

Don't get too excited all you slackers, that's not what I'm talking about. Weed farmers actually grow weeds rather than trying to get rid of them. They sell them to horticulture schools and labs so various people can do research and studies in the wonderful world of weeds.

36. Carney

Some people make their living as a full time carney. The pay is decent, the scenery changes, and you get take advantage of young people by enticing them with stuffed animals in games that are impossible to win.

37. Dice Inspector

With one false move of a single die a person can lose quite a bit of money on those craps tables. The dice inspector checks for proportionality, specific angles, and blemishes. I guess if dice are not perfect they can't be the reason for you going broke in the casino.

Definitely some of the weirdest jobs that people actually make a living doing. Some jobs are dirty, some boring, and some just plain weird, but taking a look at an array of these wacky professions can make most of us respect the normal jobs most of us have. No matter how rough the day gets, taking time to inform ourselves on just how awkward jobs can be. The next time you wake to that dreaded alarm, remind yourself that you don't have to work at a job like one of these jobs, and then go ahead and breathe a sigh of relief. But the next time you find yourself unemployed, watch out for some of these jobs; maybe you'll fall in love with trimming cow hoofs or scuba diving for golf balls.

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